Dear My Neighbors,

I realize that you won't read this, as you are highly religious people and probably do not read frivolous things, such as blogs about farting and my love of cereal. That being said, I need to let you know something.

You guys are kind of jerks.

See, I am not religious. I am a Christian, and to me that's different, because it doesn't just mean I have a bunch of rules to follow. It means I have to love everyone. Every. One. Even you.

That's about it. I still drink beer, have a multitude of friends that I'm pretty sure you consider unacceptable (much in the way that I consider religions that denigrate women, ethnicities other than Anglo, and non-hetero people to be unacceptable), and have chosen not to use my fully functional ovaries to produce children. I know that in some people's eyes that lessens me and my family. It's okay; you don't have to like me, I am still trying my very best to love you, even though loving someone who is so openly judgmental of my life is really, really hard for me. But I'm trying, because in my humble opinion, there's no point in calling myself a Christian if I don't love people. That's pretty much the whole entire point.

At any rate, don't you think it's a wee bit hypocritical for you to look down on me because I'm not the right kind of religious, and then to steal from me?

Yep, if you get my mail and/or packages, then open it up, that's stealing. Point blank. Now, keep the circulars and credit card offers all you want. I don't care about those. What I do care about is the package that I ordered for my husband for Christmas that mysteriously disappeared for two days, then showed up on my doorstep last night in the middle of the night.

Sure, it's a possibility that the mailman came out and made a delivery at like 2 a.m., but then he's the one who tore open the box, pulled all of the wrapped items open, then folded the plastic over and taped the box back with regular tape.

I'm pretty sure he would've used heavy duty packing tape in that case. Seriously. Who wouldn't? I'm going to notice that one. That lightweight regular house duty tape looks nothing like the packing tape used on the bottom of the box, plus they don't send stuff out from the warehouse all opened and looked through like that.

So I know it was one of you guys. Nice.

Look, I don't want to make this a bigger deal than it is, but how dare you look down on me when you're a thief? Maybe try just being human beings together in a non-hostile way. We all have to live here together, and we don't have to be friends, but we could just be kind. That's all.

And, just so you know, I would never, ever steal your mail. That's crappy.

Love and Kisses,

The OCD Lady Who Notices Everything