So I went clothes shopping with a friend yesterday, and I came to realize a couple of things:

First, fat people shouldn't look at the other person's clothing when shopping with skinny people. All of the clothes my friend pulled off of the rack looked like doll clothes compared to the tent-like garments at which I was looking.

Second, skinny people look good in everything, even the things they think are bad. For instance, I saw people in the dressing room grimacing at their reflection in the mirror, even though what they were wearing made them look, well, skinny. If something makes me look thinner, I buy it. No questions asked. There is no, "Does that color work on me?" or, "Does this collar style suit my face?" for me at all. Nope. It's, "Does this make my bulginess seem slightly less bulgy?" If the answer is yes, it's a go.

Finally, no one makes worse clothing choices than fat people who were skinny all of their lives until adulthood. Put the tank tops and outfit with a crop top and stretchy pants down and back away, ladies. I've been doing this my whole life. You do not want to enhance that area by draping it in spandex, trust me. Throw a baggy shirt over those slim-fit jeans that is long enough to go over all of your...areas. And don't let the world see those upper arms. Encase them in fabric. Believe me, no one know more than I do about how difficult it is to find things that fit properly, but we've got to stop letting those flabby upper arms fly in the wind. It's not good.

I know that, theoretically, people should wear whatever makes them feel good about themselves, but sometimes I feel like it's my duty to inform my fellow large ladies about how much of them we can see. I know most people have mirrors and such, but sometimes I wonder.

And there were some short shorts in the clearance section for the really big sizes and I am concerned that they were purchased to be worn. Worn in public. And that could just be a real, real bad situation. This is a time in which we could be aided by realistic plus-sized mannequins.

Also, did you know that many mannequins now have nipples? Because they do. Nipples. Seriously. I guess I've seen it before, but there were just nipples everywhere yesterday and, well, it was just kind of rough in there.

Also cold. For the mannequins, I mean. You could tell.