I may have already posted about this, but I kind of feel like it's time again. It's sort of my duty to provide this type of public service.

You're not British.

There, I said it.

Just because you watched Harry Potter and Downton Abbey along with everyone else and you noticed that they put a "u" in some of their "-or" words, and they say certain slang terms that are just now making it over here, it does not mean you're British.

It means you're trying to be cool.

If you feel that you might, in fact, be British, here is a test that can help you to decide:

First off, have you ever been to England, Ireland, Wales, or Scotland? If so, was it for more than a month?

Secondly, were you born and raised in America?

Third, do you watch a lot of shows on BBC America?

If you answered "yes" to the first question and "no" to the second two, you might be British. Maybe. If not, you're definitely not.

Adding a "u" to words like "favorite" and saying everything is "bloody brilliant" on Facebook is not going to change that. Sorry.

Maybe go get a job. That might make you feel better about who you really are. Or, and this is way out there, just stop trying to be cool. Just be yourself.

Ah. I feel much better now. Brilliant, in fact (the smart kind, not the cool British kind).