When it’s Tuesday, I like to congratulate myself on the fact that I have survived one whole day of this week. Then I like to silently weep into my coffee because there are four days left until Saturday.

Barf.

So I have come up with a new plan for getting through the week, and I thought I’d share it with all two of you who read this blog (yeah, I know): Cake.

See? It’s the perfect plan!

But seriously, I figure if my mom could potty train me in one go using M&Ms as a reward, I can get myself through the week using cake as a reward. Like so: If I stick to my diet all week, I can have a piece of cake at some point during the weekend.

I know it seems backward to reward healthy eating with a pile of sugar and fat, but that’s pretty much all I really want these days.

And I can earn bonus food, too. For instance, if I go for a walk after work at least three times this week, I’m going to have a beer while watching tv on a Friday night. See how easy that is?

Life skillz.

I am feeling so smart right now.