As sweet and thoughtful as the people who have periodically cooked my parents dinner over the last two years plus are, here’s the thing....

...how the hell do you people survive, cooking that way?

I know everyone’s got some different taste buds, but some of these combos have me sincerely worried for your children, guys. Mystery cream sauces? Onions and blueberries and pasta? Meat that might be chicken, might be beef, might be pork, but we can’t get a consensus and no one’s rude enough to ask, plus it’s encased in gelatin, so there’s that?

Yeah. I wanted to start a photo series called, “Chemo Mystery Edibles” but I thought some people might take it wrong. See, I was brought up by a mom who can make anything. Just, anything. She even knows how to make the heart healthy cookbook stuff taste amazing. So I’m not used to this bland, weirdly spiced, midwestern type of cuisine.

That sounded insulting.

I really don’t mean to be mean. It’s so sweet for people to bring her food and, quite honestly, now that mom’s not up to cooking, they eat a heck of a lot of frozen dinners and eggs and vegetarian things (that one’s my bad), so anything home cooked is welcome.

But maybe throw a label on there. The last one was all kinds of mysterious.

I can’t even.