So everyone has a Twitter and Instagram account except me. 

Actually, I really have both, but I forgot and now I can't remember any of my login information, so I've just given up on it. Plus, it just seems like a lot of effort that I really just don't have the energy for right now.

So, in honor of my sad, ignored Twitter account, these are my hashtags. The hashtags that I feel describe exactly what's going on in my neighborhood, because I'm too lazy to do a Facebook status AND a tweet.

#whyismorningsoearly

#thatguysbreathsmellsliketunafishandgarbage

#cakeitswhatsfordinner

#wineitsalsowhatsfordinner

#ohmygoodnessivegainedapoundsinceyesterday

#whatisthatspotonmyshirt

#nevermindthatspotisjustsometoothpaste

#canihaveasideofcheesewithmycheese

#nappingwithmyeyesopen

#holycrapitsfreezing

And, finally, #kiddontlookatmelikethatiwilltotallytellyourmomyoucalledherfat

The end.