Alright, alright. I haven't written in ages, but I had a very good reason: I went to Ireland! (Yeah, we don't talk about our trips until we get back because we're paranoid about break-ins. Deal with it.) 

Anyway, I thought I'd share some of our adventures with the world, as we had a fantastic time (as usual, because we're so awesome), and many, many bizarre things happened. I'll start with travel day one.

We flew to Boston, the airport from which our flight to Ireland would leave, but we had to fly in the night before because there was no way for me to get a flight to Boston and then have a few hours before the Ireland flight unless I did it the day before, and the flight from Boston to Ireland was far cheaper than from any other hub.

I am aware that Boston is a very expensive city; however, I was not aware that I wouldn't be able to find any good deals on hotels. I mean, I looked every day for two months before deciding on the hotel at which we stayed. For serious. This was not a last-minute decision. And it was still over $200. Yeah. Ouch.

Anyhow, we landed in Boston, collected our luggage, and waited outside for the shuttle. And waited. And waited. It took them around 45 minutes, which was not a good sign, considering that when I spoke to them on the phone I had been informed that their airport shuttle picked up every 15 minutes or so.

So we finally got to the hotel (around midnight), and checked into our room. Since we didn't really need to be at the airport until 2 p.m. the next day, I asked for a late check out. The lady at the desk informed me that it would cost $20.00. I thought, "No way, buddy…I've stayed at this chain before and they always do a free late checkout." So I said no. She then told me she could do it for $10.00. Classy. So I said no again, and we proceeded down the hall to our room. First off, it's one of those accessible rooms, which is fine, except that the bed is only about an inch off of the floor and the entire bathroom is one big shower, so I knew that, at some point, I was going to slip and fall because I'm just special that way. We decided to drop off our luggage and run across the street to the only open restaurant in the area and get something for dinner, which we hadn't had yet.

I decided to use the toilet before going, because I usually like to save wetting my pants in public for special occasions, like weddings and job interviews. I go, push down the flusher and…nothing.

The toilet doesn't flush. It's not clogged, it's broken.

So, on our way out the door, we informed the lady on duty that we had no working toilet and we'd like her to call someone to come fix it. She told us it would be about 20 minutes before she could get anyone, as it's the shuttle driver who fixes toilets and he's out on a call. We asked if it would be possible to just change rooms, and the front desk lady told us that the hotel was completely booked and there was no other room we could have. So we told her to call the guy, and we'd go get some food and let her know when we're back so the guy can come try to fix our toilet.

We go to the restaurant next door and pay way too much for a pizza, and sit and wait. Looking out the window, I saw the shuttle driver pull in and I told my husband that I'd run over and let the plumber into the room, since he was the one with the card to pay for the pizza, and then he could just come over.

Turns out, the guy who came to fix the toilet is an old (like in his 70s, at least) security guard with a horrible limp (which is a great thing for a security guard to have), and a plunger. I tried to explain that the toilet wasn't clogged, but she sent him with me down the hall anyway, and he plunged the heck out of the toilet and then said, "She's fixed!" and left.

I ran back across the street and met my husband and we walked back to the room with our pizza. After having the pizza, I had to pee again (I do that a lot). Toilet still didn't flush. ACK. So we decided to just use the lobby toilet, since a place to sleep is kind of important and we'd already paid for the room. My husband, however, is super smart and took the tank lid off and figured out a way for us to bypass the plusher and get the toilet to flush from inside the tank, so we did actually end up having a toilet to use, after all.

And all this after midnight.

We finished our pizza and sacked out. We wanted to complain but figured since we'd booked the same hotel on the way back and there's no way we could've gotten our money back and booked another one without a big hassle, we'd just stick with it and ask for a different room the next time.

Here's a picture of the offending toilet:

Next time, I'll share the tale of our flight to Ireland and our rent-a-car experience. Trust me, you won't want to miss it!