Happy Halloween! I thought I'd do my second part today, you know, since you've been looking froward with such fervor to the next portion of my trip story.

We got to the airport in Boston and boarded our plane without any major hiccups. Actually, the flight over was very nice, but we noticed that the stewardesses were all wearing incredible amounts of makeup. Like, crazy crazy clown makeup. I felt like I was in an episode of Jersey Shore, but with Irish accents. Very bizarre, especially to someone like me who goes for the, "Why, no, I don't have time to worry about what you'll think of my looks" look.

Anyway, we arrived in Ireland the next morning and got to the car rental counter. Here comes the truly traumatic part of our trip:  The lady behind the counter informed us that, yes, we did pay for our rental car, but we also had to pay for insurance, or else put the ENTIRE VALUE of the car (over 5,000 euros) on hold on our car (and who travels with a card with that much open space on it? Not me…). So, we had to get the insurance or no rental car. Apparently, your credit card doesn't insure it, like it does in the States.

How bad can it be? Let's just say it was well over $500. Ouch. Didn't see that one coming….

Anyway, I was super proud of my husband right at that moment. He didn't freak out (I sure did) and said, "We'll just have to alter our plans a little bit." Then he just moved on. I, on the other hand, was crying and had decided I wanted to go home. Not my proudest moment.

Goodness, I'm glad one of us isn't a complete idiot.

So we went ahead and paid for the car on our credit card (what could we do?) and went down to the garage for our first experience with backwards driving.

We decided it was definitely them that are backwards, since the car was invented in America. Okay, maybe it wasn't. I think it was actually invented in France or China or something like that…anyhow, we're right on this one.

My husband, being a lefty, had absolutely no learning curve with the driving. I mean, none. He was really good at it. The only difference was that he tended to hug the left-hand side of the road, which meant that, at times, I was approximately two feet away (and sometimes less) from the hedges on the sides of most of the Irish country roads we drove on.

Keep in mind, these people drive like maniacs. Probably because they're used to the roads, but I wore out the imaginary brake on my side of the car. Holy crap. The roads there have no shoulder and everyone drives really fast. When the road is way too narrow for two cars, one of you has to drive into the hedges on the side, and just pray that you die a quick and painless death.

Seriously. I almost peed my pants every five minutes. Scary. Here's a picture:

Imagine going down this road, doing around 60 mph, with cars coming at you at a much higher rate of speed. Yeah.

So, anyway, we drove from the Dublin airport out to the countryside in Cavan county and stayed at our friends' adorable little cottage and got to meet their neighbor, who was super nice and helpful. Four days of relaxing and touring around the countryside and looking at castles. Not a bad first half of our trip.

Except the car rental stuff, which sucked. Big time.

Alright, alright. I haven't written in ages, but I had a very good reason: I went to Ireland! (Yeah, we don't talk about our trips until we get back because we're paranoid about break-ins. Deal with it.) 

Anyway, I thought I'd share some of our adventures with the world, as we had a fantastic time (as usual, because we're so awesome), and many, many bizarre things happened. I'll start with travel day one.

We flew to Boston, the airport from which our flight to Ireland would leave, but we had to fly in the night before because there was no way for me to get a flight to Boston and then have a few hours before the Ireland flight unless I did it the day before, and the flight from Boston to Ireland was far cheaper than from any other hub.

I am aware that Boston is a very expensive city; however, I was not aware that I wouldn't be able to find any good deals on hotels. I mean, I looked every day for two months before deciding on the hotel at which we stayed. For serious. This was not a last-minute decision. And it was still over $200. Yeah. Ouch.

Anyhow, we landed in Boston, collected our luggage, and waited outside for the shuttle. And waited. And waited. It took them around 45 minutes, which was not a good sign, considering that when I spoke to them on the phone I had been informed that their airport shuttle picked up every 15 minutes or so.

So we finally got to the hotel (around midnight), and checked into our room. Since we didn't really need to be at the airport until 2 p.m. the next day, I asked for a late check out. The lady at the desk informed me that it would cost $20.00. I thought, "No way, buddy…I've stayed at this chain before and they always do a free late checkout." So I said no. She then told me she could do it for $10.00. Classy. So I said no again, and we proceeded down the hall to our room. First off, it's one of those accessible rooms, which is fine, except that the bed is only about an inch off of the floor and the entire bathroom is one big shower, so I knew that, at some point, I was going to slip and fall because I'm just special that way. We decided to drop off our luggage and run across the street to the only open restaurant in the area and get something for dinner, which we hadn't had yet.

I decided to use the toilet before going, because I usually like to save wetting my pants in public for special occasions, like weddings and job interviews. I go, push down the flusher and…nothing.

The toilet doesn't flush. It's not clogged, it's broken.

So, on our way out the door, we informed the lady on duty that we had no working toilet and we'd like her to call someone to come fix it. She told us it would be about 20 minutes before she could get anyone, as it's the shuttle driver who fixes toilets and he's out on a call. We asked if it would be possible to just change rooms, and the front desk lady told us that the hotel was completely booked and there was no other room we could have. So we told her to call the guy, and we'd go get some food and let her know when we're back so the guy can come try to fix our toilet.

We go to the restaurant next door and pay way too much for a pizza, and sit and wait. Looking out the window, I saw the shuttle driver pull in and I told my husband that I'd run over and let the plumber into the room, since he was the one with the card to pay for the pizza, and then he could just come over.

Turns out, the guy who came to fix the toilet is an old (like in his 70s, at least) security guard with a horrible limp (which is a great thing for a security guard to have), and a plunger. I tried to explain that the toilet wasn't clogged, but she sent him with me down the hall anyway, and he plunged the heck out of the toilet and then said, "She's fixed!" and left.

I ran back across the street and met my husband and we walked back to the room with our pizza. After having the pizza, I had to pee again (I do that a lot). Toilet still didn't flush. ACK. So we decided to just use the lobby toilet, since a place to sleep is kind of important and we'd already paid for the room. My husband, however, is super smart and took the tank lid off and figured out a way for us to bypass the plusher and get the toilet to flush from inside the tank, so we did actually end up having a toilet to use, after all.

And all this after midnight.

We finished our pizza and sacked out. We wanted to complain but figured since we'd booked the same hotel on the way back and there's no way we could've gotten our money back and booked another one without a big hassle, we'd just stick with it and ask for a different room the next time.

Here's a picture of the offending toilet:

Next time, I'll share the tale of our flight to Ireland and our rent-a-car experience. Trust me, you won't want to miss it!

Alright, I realize that all of my posts lately have been about the government shutdown, but it's kind of a big deal in my house. I'll keep it brief.

Last week, someone that I know made the comment, "Maybe some people deserve to lose a paycheck or two." I just need to address that.

Who gets to decide who loses a paycheck? Who gets to decide who deserves that? You do? What are your qualifications, besides being a big-mouthed know-it-all who has no perspective and who hasn't done without anything one single day of her life?

I say, maybe we all live and let live, and screw you for deciding that my family deserves this any more than anyone else's. Maybe I think you deserve to lose a paycheck or two.

Like that?

Ah. There. Had to get it out.

Now it's safe for me to be among the general public again, because seriously...it was getting a little testy up in here.

Okay. Now that it's actually happened and I've calmed myself a bit, I've thought of ten ways our government officials can move past this, set aside their disagreements, and get some stuff done. Ready? Here goes:

10. They could all go home and make dinner for their moms. That would be thoughtful and nice, plus, their moms would probably appreciate it even more than usual because they've heard so much crap all week about how much everybody hates their kids. I realize some of these people are too old to have moms they can make dinner for, so those guys should probably go make dinner for someone else's mom. Same principle.

9. They should go to their rooms and sit in front of a mirror and do an self-affirmation statement, Stuart Smalley style. Maybe if they get to the "...smart enough..." part, they will feel empowered.

8. They should all get in a line and give each other back rubs à la high school choir. I think it's supposed to create a sense of community (even though all it made me think about was germs and how much I hate touching people I don't like).

7. They should get a big old TV and DVD player or Netflix or whatever and then watch "It's A Wonderful Life." They'll all have a good cry and be able to get down to work without those pesky pent-up emotions.

6. They should go to the mall and just have a big shopping day. It's therapeutic, and I think some of them haven't actually bought new clothes since the 80s and...it's time. It really, really is.

5. They must have a gym for them, right? They should all go work out. All those endorphins and whatnot....could be helpful.

4. They should rent a bus, and take a field trip to the local Animal Humane Association and spend a day petting puppies and kitties. Come on. So much cute.

3. Someone should string up a volleyball net and they should have a tournament. I have never actually done this myself, but I see it in tampon commercials all the time, and it usually does the trick.

2. Julie Andrews should pop in with her guitar. I mean, it saved the von Trapp family, so why not? 

1. The best way of all....the way that will save the day....my mom should go over there and make them all hug each other, say, "I love you," and hold hands until they've made up.

That one has a 100% success rating. Just ask my sister.

Today is going to be pretty awesome. I get to see my BFF, and I never, ever get to see him AND we get to have lunch instead of just a short coffee visit AND I get a voice lesson AND I don't have to go into the office.

So that's pretty sweet.

On the downside, the people we've elected to run our country have apparently decided that, instead of doing their jobs, they're going to be pissy with one another and waste MORE money and just screw around. I want to teach them a special lesson about a little thing I like to call "COMPROMISE."

Mostly, it entails giving up some of what you want, while others give up some of what they want so that everyone can have a little bit of what he or she wants. It's what we call a "win-win" situation. 

Buuuuuuuuuut no. They have to hold on tightly to their politics and refuse to give an inch, in order to avoid looking like their ding-a-lings are tiny.

Which they may or may not be. I don't know. Quite honestly, I don't care. I would just like to not have to worry about not being able to pay my bills and having my credit ruined and losing everything I have so that they can have principles.

I would love to be able to afford principles. Unfortunately, I have decided that I would rather, you know, live in a house, as opposed to a dumpster or an alleyway, and for those of us who fall below that crazy huge income level that politicians in D.C. have, we kind of have to learn to compromise in order to get by.

I really don't care, at this point, what they pass. I'm pretty sure they waved bye-bye to giving a crap about what their constituents want a long time ago. At this point, they could pass a law where we all have to find a healthcare buddy among our friends to do routine things like pap smears and prostate exams, and I would deal.

Maybe their paychecks should be on the line. Maybe their houses should be on the line. Maybe their jobs should be on the line.

Maybe we need to vote every single one of them out next term and get some new people in there, regardless of party. 

Maybe I should shut up and post an educational video.

Sounds good. Happy Tuesday.