Wow, it must be a record! I’ve blogged twice now this week.

Go, me.

It’s amazing how different I feel from ten days ago. It was already hard, but it’s gotten so much harder. (Go ahead, give me a, “That’s what she said.” I deserve it.)

I think we’re so conditioned to just accept what doctors say as gospel truth, and when they give up on us, we tend to give up on ourselves. So it’s hard to keep believing that something good could still happen.

I know good things have happened, by the way. We’ve been blessed with a wonderful family who like each other and get along really well most of the time, and we all have beautiful, safe homes and pets to make them happier and plenty of food and newish cars and all of that good stuff.

We have enough money to go to the doctor when we need to, and we have jobs with good co-workers and we live in towns that are pretty darn safe and friendly.

We all believe in God, in our own ways, and we all respect the differences in our beliefs and never fight about religion or politics (which in some families might be a minus, but we are big non-confrontationalists in our house so that’s all good for us).

So we have all of this good stuff, but the words that came out of that doctor’s mouth last week are ruining everything with their poopy pessimistic finality.

Or, I’m letting them ruin everything. Because I do believe in miracles. It’s just kind of tiring when they don’t happen when and how I want them to. I know it doesn’t mean that it won’t, and I know it doesn’t mean we won’t ever have happy times again. It just feels like we’ve been slogging through the darkness forever, and my heart hurts.

Ugh.

So I’m brightening everyone else’s day with my little ray of sunshine, hahahahahahaha. Also, every time you put, “That’s what she said.” on the internet anywhere, another unicorn is born, so there’s that.

Two. Two unicorns. My work here is done.