It’s been a rough few days. The meds for the pain my mom has have started causing her to fade behind a weird fog that makes her sleep all day, hallucinate, and become completely disoriented at times.

She’s lost the dignity of going to the bathroom alone. She’s lost the ability to remember where she’s going or what she’s doing. She is now being treated like a child because her confusion is so great that we’re worried she’ll injure herself.

And then she has moments of lucidity and we can see her underneath this haze.

Fortunately, it seems that these effects may have come from too much opioid medication; unfortunately, the effects are receding slowly and are very scary.

And we are all so tired, especially my dad.

And some asshat stole my dad’s debit card number so he’s had to cancel his card, get a new one, and also remember to change all of the automatic monthly payments that come out of this card. Because he didn’t have enough on his plate.

And life goes on, and work goes on, and all the things we have to do to keep up with bills and the house and the pets and the cars still need to be done.

I am so grateful she’s with us and comfortable. I’m so grateful we have kind hospice people to help. I’m so happy that she has such an amazing husband who loves caring for her and makes her feel so safe and happy. I am beyond thankful for a husband who loves them as much as I do and is willing to drop our normal routine to go with me to help out the little bit that I can.

But, wow. This is difficult. And I can’t imagine what’s going to happen next.

Ugh.

P.S. Fentanyl is the devil, just in case you were wondering.