Last night I realized that my husband and I went and had a baby and didn’t even notice it. A bird baby.

This sounds a little cuckoo.

Well, maybe that’s okay. We are a little weird. At any rate, we have this cockatiel, and we love her like crazy. And buy her all the toys and treats and do training stuff and all that. Which I think keeps us in normal pet parent mode. Last night, though, we shifted into this place which was much more like people with a human baby times, and I don’t know where that puts us now, but it’s a little embarrassing.

This kid demands love and adoration ALL DAY. Guilt trips included if we don’t comply. And birds aren’t like dogs. If you give them food they don’t like, they will quite seriously starve themselves until they die. They’re weirdos like that. This girl will not eat if she doesn’t like where you put her bowl, and she has an issue with climbing down her ladder to get to her food.

A month or so ago, I was riding my exercise bike and she figured out the ladder. We have had this play gym since Christmas, so it’s been quite a while, but she doesn’t like going backwards down the ladder, so when she gets hungry, she will sit at the edge of her upper perch and sadly tweet at me until I move her down. I have tried ignoring her, but she will do it for hours and then not eat, and then dramatically throw herself off of the entire thing onto the floor and go hide under the coffee table. But when I’m on the bike she knows I won’t get off to move her so she tried and figured it out. And then climbed up and down three more times because she was proud.

Of course, by the next day, she completely forgot how to do it and hasn’t done it again since,  no matter how strict I am with not putting her down, and how many times we try training tricks. Nothing has worked.

Three weeks ago, I had surgery so I was at home recovering for two weeks, and we had all-day training time. Nope. She wasn’t having any. She wanted to be held and petted all day, and that was pretty much it. She’s really snuggly and sweet when she isn’t angry and trying to rip off your face.

Then I went back to work a week ago, and the kid was mad. So, so mad. Wouldn’t let me hold her. Screamed at me whenever she was out. Basically just acted like a jerk for three or four days.

And then we got her some new toys and that helped put us back to normal.

So, last night we finally got some dinner and were watching TV, and the baby was up on the top bar of her gym, as normal, grooming her favorite toy and chattering to her bell. And then, all of a sudden, with no warning, she tilted her head funny and looked at the ladder. She got all quiet so I was looking over to see what she was doing. And then I nudged my husband and he looked over. And then.....believe me, it was as majestic as it sounds.....she grabbed the top rung of the ladder and headed down and started eating out of her dish. Like it was no big deal.

And we were clapping and saying “Yay! Big girl!” for ages.

And I knew we had stepped into a weird area.

So now I feel like I need to start wearing Mom jeans and carrying around fruit leather and baby wipes in my purse. Which needs to be larger and more sensible. And my husband needs to start saying, “Hot enough for ya?” to complete strangers.

New territory. Kind of creepy.