I’m sitting here, on my couch, watching a little TV with my husband before we go to bed, and I realized that I have officially reached grandmahood.

Every time I see this meme, I laugh, because it’s totally me. I still have many of my toys from childhood, and they’re still in perfect condition (minus my Barbies, because I played with them waaaaayyyy too much for them to have survived....I feel like they had a good, albeit violent, life, at any rate).

Anyway, this meme really is me. But today I realized how very grandma-like I am. I’m sitting here, after a day of baking bread, making homemade lotion and salves with my dried lavender from this summer’s garden; I’m also planning to bake Christmas cookies tomorrow, and I’m crocheting a baby blanket for a cousin’s little girl. 

So, just call me Granny.

For reals, when did this happen? Not that I’m sad about it, but it just all hit me at once. Everything I do is something my grandmas did. I wear the shoes my mom’s mom used to wear (Birkenstocks are the best for my big old German feet), I love to do word games and puzzles like my dad’s mom, and I knit, crochet, and hand make all of our baked goods.

Wow...this is awkward. I’m not sure when the other really old lady stuff is going to start, but I’m not pumped. The nightgown all day part doesn’t seem too bad, but the boobs down to my knees, forgetting my own name, and drinking coffee with all of my meals part seems a little weird. Also the part where I lose all of my teeth and have to get dentures. And the sagging. All of the sagging.

I’m in trouble.

Yikes.

Christmas thought time. It’s already December and I feel like this whole year has been an exercise in frustration and guilt. But since we’re all in it together, it’s probably time for me to think of something positive.

I tend to spend a lot of time worrying that I’m not doing enough and this year has been no exception. I’ve been obsessed with weight for as long as I can remember, so this year I’ve tried really hard to focus on being healthy, rather than losing weight. After a whole year of not dieting, I still haven’t lost any weight, but I haven’t gained any, either, so I guess the dieting wasn’t nearly as helpful as I thought it would be.

I’ve decided that, for the remainder of the year, at least, I’m going to make myself a list of eight mentally and physically healthy little things and try to do six of them a day. I figure some of them will become habits, and with all those little things to keep up with, maybe I won’t get too wrapped up in my size. 

I definitely tend to obsess, especially about big things I can’t do anything about. It’s lovely.

So I’m doing what I can; we’ll see if it sticks. I’ll try it for a month and then go from there. Just little stuff, like taking a walk, drinking extra water, meditating, and a few other items. Shouldn’t be too bad. At any rate, 2020 is almost over, the election crazy is almost all the way behind us, and there’s a vaccine on the horizon. 

Oh, and cookies. There will also be cookies before the month is out. Heck yes.