I’m sitting here, on my couch, watching a little TV with my husband before we go to bed, and I realized that I have officially reached grandmahood.

Every time I see this meme, I laugh, because it’s totally me. I still have many of my toys from childhood, and they’re still in perfect condition (minus my Barbies, because I played with them waaaaayyyy too much for them to have survived....I feel like they had a good, albeit violent, life, at any rate).

Anyway, this meme really is me. But today I realized how very grandma-like I am. I’m sitting here, after a day of baking bread, making homemade lotion and salves with my dried lavender from this summer’s garden; I’m also planning to bake Christmas cookies tomorrow, and I’m crocheting a baby blanket for a cousin’s little girl. 

So, just call me Granny.

For reals, when did this happen? Not that I’m sad about it, but it just all hit me at once. Everything I do is something my grandmas did. I wear the shoes my mom’s mom used to wear (Birkenstocks are the best for my big old German feet), I love to do word games and puzzles like my dad’s mom, and I knit, crochet, and hand make all of our baked goods.

Wow...this is awkward. I’m not sure when the other really old lady stuff is going to start, but I’m not pumped. The nightgown all day part doesn’t seem too bad, but the boobs down to my knees, forgetting my own name, and drinking coffee with all of my meals part seems a little weird. Also the part where I lose all of my teeth and have to get dentures. And the sagging. All of the sagging.

I’m in trouble.

Yikes.

Christmas thought time. It’s already December and I feel like this whole year has been an exercise in frustration and guilt. But since we’re all in it together, it’s probably time for me to think of something positive.

I tend to spend a lot of time worrying that I’m not doing enough and this year has been no exception. I’ve been obsessed with weight for as long as I can remember, so this year I’ve tried really hard to focus on being healthy, rather than losing weight. After a whole year of not dieting, I still haven’t lost any weight, but I haven’t gained any, either, so I guess the dieting wasn’t nearly as helpful as I thought it would be.

I’ve decided that, for the remainder of the year, at least, I’m going to make myself a list of eight mentally and physically healthy little things and try to do six of them a day. I figure some of them will become habits, and with all those little things to keep up with, maybe I won’t get too wrapped up in my size. 

I definitely tend to obsess, especially about big things I can’t do anything about. It’s lovely.

So I’m doing what I can; we’ll see if it sticks. I’ll try it for a month and then go from there. Just little stuff, like taking a walk, drinking extra water, meditating, and a few other items. Shouldn’t be too bad. At any rate, 2020 is almost over, the election crazy is almost all the way behind us, and there’s a vaccine on the horizon. 

Oh, and cookies. There will also be cookies before the month is out. Heck yes.

 Camping post time!

Yep, we finally got to go out again, after having to cancel last month’s trip due to the entire world being on fire. It really stank. I’m still off social media, but blogging doesn’t count, because I want to share my picture. This is our view from our kickass tiny T@b 400 camper, which we have taken out four times and are still in love with, despite having to work out a few kinks to make it better for us.

So here’s the picture. Gee whiz, the world is completely crazy right now, but Fall in New Mexico is glorious.

 I know, I’m posting twice in a month. It’s a Christmas in September Miracle!

So I’m going to take a break from the social media, I think. I think I’m done with the nastiness, pettiness, and judgmental posts telling everyone else that they aren’t doing enough to support whatever (because if they did good stuff, how would anyone know unless they could plainly see it on the person’s Facebook or Instagram or Twitter or whatever else? Obviously no one could ever do anything privately, without announcing it to the virtual world).

All the sides. All of them. We are ridiculous.

Social media posts can be nice and cute and encouraging, but I think too many people, myself included, forget that there’s so much we can do in the real world. There are people here, in our very own towns, who need help. Including us. Also, instead of pointing fingers at everyone else, maybe think about what we can do ourselves.

I don’t know. I don’t have answers. My life is definitely not in order right now, and I think the social media barrage doesn’t improve my quality of life at all. So, a break. For sure  

 Definitely had to announce that one publicly. Keep myself honest, haha.

 Okey dokey. It’s September and the last month has been chock full of hotness, people being bitchy about mask wearing, and wind. Oh, and not going on vacations and generally going to work, going to my Dad’s, and staying home.

That’s it. That’s the world we all live in now.

Did I mention the hotness? Because wow. Ninety plus degrees in September? What? And then last night it drops into the 40s and this morning, there’s snow on the ground. Snow. For reals. But we can’t turn on the heat, as it’ll be eighty degrees again in a few days.

I feel like this week’s weather is a perfect start to Autumn 2020. Crazy, unpredictable, and irritating as it can be. Thanks, global warming.

Also, everything is on fire, so we can’t really have outside time unless I’m willing to pay for it with truckloads of snot and itchy eyes. And it looks like it’s that way everywhere. I have a feeling it’s going to get worse before it gets better.

Also, I have a headache and I have to go to work today and I don’t wanna.

Also also, I’m feeling whiny and maybe I need a nap.

Also also also I know it’s clichéd to say so, but 2020 really is a big old dumpster fire. And that is all.

Zucchini Bread

It’s that time of year again. The time when people are looking around frantically for something to do with their huge zucchini that stayed on the vine and got too big for good eating on their own. Yep. Zucchini bread time.

If I had to pick one Mom recipe that feels more like home than anything else, it would be zucchini bread. Among all the other homemade goodness that she had going on in her kitchen, every year right around this time, the zucchini madness would start. My Dad would sit at the table and run the ten million zucchini through the crank shredder thingy, and my Mom would be greasing and flouring all of the available pans. And the house would smell like heaven for a month or so, because this stuff is ridiculous and there is always just so much zucchini to use.

So today, I’m making my own house smell like heaven. I’m also making zucchini bread. Hahahahahaha yes, I sneaked a little fart joke in there. See that?

Anyway, it’s probably always going to make me a little sad to make zucchini bread because I’ll never get to make it with her again, but the zucchini I made this batch with came from my sister’s garden, and I tweaked Mom’s special recipe a little so my Dad will have a piece (it’s got way less sugar and he is all about that), so I think she’d be pleased. She was always so spontaneous with her cooking, changing things and making them better, and she always liked using homegrown vegetables, so it’s got all that going for it.

It’s not the same, but it’s still good. And now my house smells like my Mom’s. In more ways than one (got another one in...thanks for the sophisticated sense of humor, Dad).

 

Just So You Know

The following blog post she’ll never read is dedicated to an unnamed person who full-on tried to shame me for my mask-wearing stance. Enjoy.

Since the beginning of this pandemic (actually, since way before that), I haven’t had any time off. I have worked, in my office, just as much, if not more than, before.

I have stopped going to the store when I need things. Rather, we keep a list and take turns going shopping, every two weeks or even longer, if we can. I hope that it keeps amounts of people in the store down and helps those employees feel safer. I am not ordering everything online, either. I am trying to keep deliveries to a minimum and waiting a little longer for things when I can. Delivery people need to be safe, too.

I have lost 1/2 of my teaching income, due to people feeling uncomfortable with online lessons, which I completely understand. I want to keep them safe. I’ve had my hours at work cut by 30%, willingly, because I want everyone to keep their jobs and get a check.  Better for all of us to take a small cut than for a couple of people to have no check at all. Plus, I’ve set aside a portion of my remaining teaching income to help fellow artists stay solvent. The arts community is decimated, and I’m fortunate enough that I’ve had enough savings and a husband who’s been able to keep working, and I’m glad to chip in.

For those of you who say I’m “bitching” about people who say it’s their right to not wear a mask, you are absolutely correct. I am. Two years ago, I watched the most wonderful mother and wife in the world take her last breath, and I will never forget that minute. It plays in my head daily, and I will never stop grieving over her loss. If masks don’t really help, so be it, but if I can keep one person from having to watch their mother, father, husband or wife take their last breath way too soon because of a horrible disease, than I am OVERJOYED to wear that mask. I am a big fat lady who had a hysterectomy last year, so you know it’s hot and sweaty. I’m getting some delightful zit action, not to mention the fact that I do have asthma, so I know what breathing fun times are like. I will wear the damn mask around every single person who doesn’t live in my house, and I will exercise my constitutional right to free speech and continue my “bitching” about those who don’t.

I’m not trying to say I’m better; I’m trying to say that I’m putting my money where my mouth is, and I have every right to feel indignant about those who don’t care. This pandemic is not political. It’s a disease that will kill other people. Remember those things? Other people? Those death numbers are actual human beings. Every single one. I’m not saying there aren’t other things that kill people, but for crying out loud, why don’t we care? Good grief.

I don’t get angry very often. I get sad, I get indignant, I get anxious. But people putting me down and saying I’m just repeating some liberal agenda are making me extremely angry. I know that there are many good ideas out there, but I am entitled to my opinion, and I am practicing what I preach. A lot of us are. We care about others, and are trying, every single day, to make the world better. No one has the right to call us bad people or belittle us for caring.

That is all. Go, and be good this weekend. I love you.