So things are just getting less fun by the day and I can feel the anxiety and unhappiness everywhere and all I can think is that maybe if it bothered us a little more how our fellow human beings are treated, maybe things could get better.


Maybe if, when someone makes a racist, sexist, homophobic, or otherwise hateful comment, I need to be braver. Maybe I need to speak up and say, “Hey, that bothers me.” Because it does. It seems like a little thing, but it’s important. We don’t have to hate people because they’re different, and I’m allowed to speak up if something is hateful and offensive, and I feel like words are extremely powerful, especially out in public.

Maybe I need to look at companies I buy products from, and see if I agree with where they spend their money and how they treat their employees, and adjust my spending accordingly.

It matters to me.

Maybe I need to understand that we all have kindness in us, along with hatefulness, and I need to work harder to see the kindness through all the other things, because loving everybody means just that. Everybody. Even people I think are poop heads.

Because I don’t have to like someone to love them, but it’s imperative that I see and appreciate their intrinsic worth as a human being.

And, maybe I need to remember that because I was raised in a home where I never doubted for a minute that I was loved, and I live in a home now where I am loved, that gives me a hand up in the world. Maybe someone else needs a hand up, and that hand up needs to come from me.

Because I have the luxury of not being forced into this fight, because I happened to be born into racial and socioeconomic groups that are not under attack by others at this time, I need to choose to fight for my fellow human beings of every color, culture, gender, sexuality, and religion. Because, ultimately, our humanity has to supersede our differences, and we all need to learn to appreciate how beautiful our differences are. Guys, this rainbow of people we live around is incredible. We are all worth fighting for, and we are all worth loving. We don’t have to be best friends and hang out. We do have to be tolerant and kind. And learn some manners, too, while we’re at it.

So that’s my two cents. And I love you all. I will try to be better, I promise.

Today, I start training a new job sharer at my office. Amidst the COVID and other shenanigans. It’s going to be bonkers.

My first training task is to make sure she knows that she needs to cover her boobs, because there are boob starers in the vicinity, and they’re old and can’t/won’t stop. Not our bosses, by the way. That would be icky.

My second item is making sure she knows that if she piles up all of the dishes and leaves them for me on my days, I will notice, and I’ll do them, but it’ll make me sad. I’m not convincing with mad, so I have to try for the guilt angle.

Third on my list are all the crappy crap jobs other than dishes, like putting paper in the printers and staples in the staplers. It may not happen, but I have to try.

Finally, phones. Pushing buttons, answering before the second ring, if possible, and being polite. Write down those messages, and ask people to spell their names if you don’t know how.

And that is my plan for today.

Wow. Sounds really exciting. I almost want to train myself again, just so I can feel the thrill. Also, I am finally going to go back to my original schedule, so that may be part of the excitement. Woohoo. Masks up.

This whole COVID experience has made me think a lot about the lessons I learned in elementary school about rights and responsibilities. I am so thankful that my teachers went over and over with us the fact that we enjoy certain rights which are connected to certain responsibilities.

For instance, it’s my right to not wear a mask, but it’s my responsibility to make sure that my right to remain free-faced doesn’t impinge upon the rights of others to not be contaminated by my spit, which travels freely out of my mouth every time I speak, sneeze, cough, or even just breathe.

So I wear a damn mask in public places, and then I choose not to wear one in my home because I’m not having visitors. It’s that simple.

Because my right to comfort isn’t more important than my responsibility to care for my fellow human beings.

We went to Costco yesterday, and I would bet that at least 1/3 of my fellow shoppers were just enjoying themselves all mask-free and whatnot. Right alongside the rest of us, who were doing our best to protect our fellow humans, whether they cared enough about us to do the same or not.

The older masked folks were frantically staying to themselves, lurking on the edges, turning their heads every time they saw one of these unmasked freedom fighters. The checkers were also highly strung, as they have to encounter thousands of people per day, and every exposure could potentially kill them.

Yes, freedom warriors. You are insisting upon your freedom at the expense of every person with whom you come into contact. You are potentially infecting peoples’ grandparents, parents, children, and more. We do not wear our masks for us, we are wearing them for you.

So here we come into the truth of the situation: You’re just being rude. You’re not making a political statement. You’re making the statement that, to you, your rights are more important than others’ lives. You’ve decided that your right to comfort supersedes everyone else’s right to be safe and not assaulted by your potentially germy spit spray.

Nice. I hope that makes you feel really good about yourself.

This isn’t about politics, guys. It’s about manners, and a lack of them.

April has been tons of fun thus far. Sanitizing, handwashing, sending my husband to the grocery store every two weeks to look through the store and try to decide what won’t be there next time, so we should probably get two of that thing. You know, same as everyone else on the planet.

Also my eyes are on fire and my nose is runny, and I’m rashy and itchy because of all of the pollen and wind, so that’s neat, too.

I’ve always kind of hated April, but this one takes the cake.

Oh, and my job share person at work just officially quit, so now I get to figure out how to train a new person (if we can find one), or do all the work myself. I already pretty much was, so I’m voting for no new person until the quarantine is done. It’s just too much work to do all the work while training someone else, who will probably do no work, then only stay six months and then leave. That seems to be the pattern.

So, yes, April is officially the worst.

I’m sure everyone else is in this boat, though, so I can’t complain too much. Just a little.

Also I just finished the last of the coffee for the day, so boo.

That’s it.

I will leave you with a picture of my current hairstyle. I’m not even exaggerating. My hair straight up looks like that, except that I have lady sideburns, so they’re not all full and porkchoppy. Ouch.

So I'm on day two of wearing my mask to work. I work with people that should be legitimately scared to be here, but they have convinced themselves that it's essential for us to be here, so we are.

And I happen to be the only admin who's here, so that's neat, and everyone has been looking at me weird for two days. I'm totally wearing this thing for their protection, but all day yesterday, I was getting sighs and eye-rolls.

What, guys? You mind ME being uncomfortable so YOU don't get sick, just in case I might have this coronavirus business and be asymptomatic? Seriously?

Ugh.

Today's better. I think they may have gotten used to it. I actually had a coworker ask me if I could send him the pattern I used, because, if I do say so myself, my masks are pretty decent.

Yep, that's as far as I want to go. Decent. Oh, well.

At any rate, I hope that we can all play by the rules, just so everybody can be as safe as possible. Please stay home. Please don't expose any of my family members. Please.

Also, wear a mask so I feel less weird about it. And maybe old guy boss won't call me the Lone Ranger anymore, as I will no longer be lone. I might still range, though. We'll see.

Holy cow, it’s April.

I still haven’t gotten bored, but I still have to go into work, so that takes up time and stuff. I also have a mental to-do list that is basically never-ending, so there’s that. All in all, I project that boredom will occur in 2025.

So here’s my thought for today: Why is it so hard not to panic buy?

I had to go to the grocery store yesterday because we had no more dishwashing liquid, and I have a bunch of dishes that need handwashing. I make a list, do all the things, and as I’m going through the store and seeing all of the empty shelves, I start thinking, “Well, we have soup, but what if they run out and I can never get any more?” I consider buying twenty cans. I talk myself down and buy none, because we need none, and I’m being silly.

I get to the dish soap aisle. The panic buying has kicked in there, too. They don’t have my usual kind, but they have the same brand in a different scent, and there are two bottles left.

Mind you, it takes us about six months to go through one of these bottles. It’s really not something we use a ton of.

So I stand there, fighting with myself about buying two bottles. I remind myself that someone else might need that other bottle, and in six months, there will be more soap. And I stand there. And stand there.

I only got the one bottle, but it was a battle up in my brain.

At any rate, I made it through the store without any panic purchases. Pretty proud of that, but why was it so hard? Ugh. This is weird.

Also, the lady behind me in the checkout line had four huge cases of  Smirnoff Ice and the rest of her cart was filled with Doritos. You know quarantine at her house is going to be amazing.

Ah, viruses and whatnot. So fun, right?

So.....since my last post, there have been so many weird things going down that I can’t even think of them all. Lame. I’m still working, and my husband is at home, still recovering from his fun surgery,  but doing well.

Also we’re staying away from our families to keep from passing anything along. That part is pretty gross, but we are trying to be as cautious as possible, especially since we’ve been in and out of doctors’ offices and I work with a few people who think social distancing is a stupid idea and refuse not to get up in my face. Ew.

So I have armed myself with all the hand sanitizer, a spray bottle of alcohol, mass quantities of soap, and a tankard of coffee. Also water, but the coffee is more exciting and it’s hot, so I feel like it may kill some germs or something in my mouth.

Let me have my dream.

At any rate, this is so hard; it’s hard for everyone, and we have to keep that in mind. We’re ALL struggling. We’re ALL scared. We ALL miss seeing our people. But this is, for many of us, the first time in our lives when we can’t control the outcome aggressively, unless we’re passive. Stay home. Keep your distance. Wash your damn hands.

Clean a room every day, if you’re stuck at home. Organize a cupboard. Do one productive thing. Learn a sentence in another language. Watch one documentary or history show instead of  comfort
TV. Get out a cookbook and try a new recipe with some of the food you have on hand, if you can’t find stuff at the store.

Maybe we can get through this and be even better humans. Maybe we can learn about real healthiness and truly important things we should be prioritizing, rather than superfluous crap that only serves to make us angrier and less helpful. Maybe we can stop being babies and leaning so hard on other people, instead of trying to find out what we can do to help people who can’t help themselves. Maybe we can change the way we consume and try to support our small business and local manufacturers, rather than just buying a “cheap” product that was made by an underpaid and ill-treated workforce that doesn’t benefit from our purchase at all. Maybe we can insist upon ethical production, even if it means not buying exactly what we want exactly when we want it.

Let’s all just try. I’m going to keep trying to try, myself. I think that’s the best I can do, right now. Well, that, and staying home when I’m able to. Thankfully we’re limiting clients at the office, so I’m able to keep everything pretty sanitary. But that’s about the best I can do.

I’ll keep it up. You all keep it up, too. And if you don’t agree with what I think, that’s okay. You do your thing, too. Let’s all just agree to love each other and be kind.

From a distance.

Because germs.