Really miss my Mom today. Just, a lot. And I know she’s good, but boy, life here is missing a lot of silliness and cuteness without Mom.

That’s all. I know it’s not just me, and I know it’s normal, and I know it’ll get better.

But I really miss her.

IT’S FRIDAY!!!

Kind of ready for the weekend.

At any rate, I have now been doing the Dr. Gundry eating plan for just about a month, and I’ve lost 7.5 pounds. I realize that doesn’t sound like a shockingly huge amount, but for me it’s amazing. I’ve been stuck without the scale moving for ages, and I’ve made some modifications to the plan to help fit my life better, and I’m still slowly inching down the scale.

For instance, I still have half and half in my coffee. That’s a no no, but I gots to have it. I didn’t use sugar in my coffee anyway,  but I can’t deal with black coffee. It would kill me. I also still have tomatoes because they make me happy and I love them. I just don’t have more than one serving a day. And I also eat tofu because I’m less worried about soy estrogens, since I eat almost no processed food, so I’m not getting any soy that way. And tofu is delicious.

I feel like I’m eating all of the vegetables, but really, I think it’s as much as we’re supposed to eat, I was just slacking before. I’m eating at least one big salad meal a day, and then vegetables at the other meals, although I’m at the point where I’ve added some fruit back in, too. Finally. Apples.

I’m also eating some aged cheese, but trying to keep it to an ounce a day. And I’ve discovered queso fresco, which is amazing and I think my new favorite cheese. Big time.

So, I think I’ll stick with this. The prebiotic is a little weird, but not hugely so, and I love the idea of feeding my good bacteria. I’ve always been leery of antibiotics and I’m starting to cut out antibacterial things (even hand sanitizer....I know....it’s shocking) and maybe that’ll keep my guts happier, which is also a good thing for my Crohn’s.

So, yay. Friday AND down on the scale. Oh, and I’m still having a little beer here and there. Because come on. It’s summer. You can’t have summer without beer; it’s pretty much the law.

So it’s already been one heck of a week, and it’s only Thursday. Very depressing. A fast-forward button would be pretty perfect right about now, but, unfortunately, I seem to have misplaced mine. Anyhow, I’m glad it’s not Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday today. That’s something.

I am on this quest for self improvement and I seem to be stumbling on things that I place in my own path. Seriously. It’s always me that does the stupid stuff which cause me to have to stop moving forward and clean up the mess. Ugh.

And then all night long I have these dreams about failing. Every night. Barf.

At any rate, I guess, it’s a new day, with millions more chances. And maybe today will be neutral. Or at least less hot.

Yeah. I’ll go for less hot and neutral. Woohoo goals!

Wow, it’s been a while. Evidently, I’ve just gotten out of practice. Or maybe I’ve just been lazy because we’ve been off work for a week.

Yep, we took a vacation.

Well, we were supposed to go with my Dad to my uncle’s cabin, but he wasn’t really into leaving, what with his new sod and stuff, so we decided to just hang out at home.

It’s been glorious.

We’ve slept late, gone swimming, ridden our bikes, gone to Madrid (NM...it’s not that thrilling, but it’s cute), done a few things around the house like oiling the wooden window frames and sealing up cracks to keep the damn carpenter bees out (they are the biggest turds of all time), gone to the opera with our funnest friend, and gone to many movies courtesy of my awesome sister and the moviepass she got us for our birthdays.

So, yeah. Pretty awesome.

Today is our last day, so we’re just hanging out and getting ready to get back into it. I don’t think all the tired is gone, but I feel a lot better. It was getting pretty rough there for a bit, fatigue-wise. So I think we may survive, after all.

We’ll see.

Tomorrow will be my last day at the job I’ve had for the past eight and a half years. Holy crap.

Bookkeeping? Not going to miss it. My coworkers? Yeah, I’ll be missing them.

I’m also leaving a place of security for a new, unknown place. This is not something I tend to do, so now I’m having a little freak out time because I don’t quite have all the new tasks down exactly the way they do it at the new place. I forgot how much I really, really don’t like to not have my shizznit together.

I also feel like I don’t have the new dynamic down. And I know the old one. I know who likes whom, and who isn’t a fan of which things, and now I have to remember to speak up when I talk to the one guy, and put the other guy’s mail in a certain place.

It’s also been fun working in the same office with my sister, mostly because that means I get to have all the unicorns I want and there’s someone else in the office who thinks farts are funny, too. New office? Yeah, no one there is the kind of person who laughs at farts, and it is definitely not unicorny.

There are so many pluses. More money, a couple of days working closer to home, and, above all else, learning new information about a different field. Also, no more accounting-firm-who-shall-remain-nameless. So, it’ll be good.

But I’m going to be a little sad to leave my work family tomorrow.

Ugh. More feelings. What. The. Hell.

Okay. I’m 40 now. Is it okay for me to openly curmudgeon now, or do I have to wait for 50 or something like that? There should be some kind of a rule book or something.

Or maybe I should write the rule book, since I’m the one who invented curmudgeoning.

You think your Grandpa did it better? You think your Great-Aunt Matilda was more curmudgeonly? I doubt it. My Grandpa Otis brought some serious game to the table, but I think I can beat him with my introversion.

Yep, introverted curmudgeons win every time, because even when they’re not grumpy, strangers think they are because they don’t talk.

Also, stay out of my yard.

So maybe I still need to work on it, but I’ve got time. I’m only 40, after all.

Hahahaha I am so old. Gross.

Okay. I’ve made it through the first two items on June’s trifecta of doom: The colonoscopy was fine, actually the easiest prep ever, and the biopsy came back fine, as well. The Memorial Service (in caps, because come on) was also fine.

It was a memorial. My Mom is gone. We made it through and that’s all I need to say about that.

Anyway, on to the upcoming weekend and the final item on my agenda of things that I’m not super pumped about: TURNING FORTY.

Gross.

But then I saw that Oil of Olay had this thing that tells you what age it thinks your skin is, and it told me mine was 36. So I can live in denial a bit longer, right? My skin hasn’t shriveled up into a prune yet, according to the internets, and that’s all that matters. I think...

...yep.

At any rate, the doom is almost come and gone, and then life will return to normal. Right? Sure.